Games

One thing our family has always enjoyed is playing games. There is not one single time when our family gathers that we don't have, at the very least, one night devoted to some intense game playing. You may wonder how we can possibly be intense when the games include Pictionary, Canasta, Spades, Hearts, Mad Libs, Trivial Pursuit, Yahtzee, Farkle... 

Well, it's like this: if it's fun and we can make some noise- we're playing it and we're playing it BIG! 

The card games are hilarious for the most part.  Until people start getting competitively nasty and playing cards on their spouses that they have no business playing.  "I can't believe you played that card on me.  That's totally unfair!"  

Trivial Pursuit is fun until a certain couple starts acting like smart asses all "High-five Baby! Way to go!"--just because they win. Every. Single. Time.  

Pictionary is one of my favorites. It gets crazy when one family member has her turn to draw and people are guessing and she suddenly decides to help them out by using gestures, like Charades. "You can't use gestures Maw-Maw!" But she just can't help herself and she continues to use the gestures every time her turn comes around. When it's a certain man's turn to draw and people guess wrong, he talks. "No, it's more like..." And everyone yells, "You can't talk, DAD!" And then there's the inevitable conversation when one partner does not guess the drawing correctly. "How could you NOT get that?" "Why would you think that that looks like a bicycle?! It doesn't even remotely resemble a bike!" "I can't believe you said hot. NOTHING in the drawing has ANYTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH BEING HOT!" "I can't believe that's how you draw!" "It's better than the way you guess!" Meanwhile, everyone who isn't on the bickering team has fallen out of their chairs laughing. I'm telling you right now you've never seen so many people raise such a ruckus and have so much fun without the aid of alcohol. 

We've even started playing the game Cards Against Humanity with two stipulations: we don't play it around the grandparents and it's called 'Sorry, Mom' around here (it was dubbed that the first time I played with them in December. That has gotten more laughs than the game itself.)

It doesn't matter what we're playing, our family just really likes to have fun. If y'all could be flies on the wall during one of our game nights, you'd probably swear we were all nuts!  

Which we are. But I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

This is Day 7 of the A-Z Challenge!

Facebook

This is a partial re-post of a post I posted on Empty Nest. (Too bad the letter of the day isn't, 'P'. Ha!

Here it is. The post where I discuss appropriate vs inappropriate Facebook posts/conversations. The motivation behind choosing a post about Facebook relates to the internet safety and cyberbullying lessons I teach in the computer lab at my elementary school and the fact that many adults are clueless as to appropriate vs inappropriate internet citizenship.

We need an awakening.

Some of these I mention for the sake of safety. Even though you have your privacy settings, you just never know who is really going to see what you put out there. AND, once it is out there, IT IS out there. No take backs.

Other things I mention for the sake of pointing out stupidity. Because, apparently, people do not understand what they are posting makes people know for a fact that the person posting this stuff IS stupid. Of course, there are a couple that are nothing more than personal opinion.

Things people should NOT post via Facebook:

Personal Drama. Keep your drama OFF the Facebook. This is no place for people to air their dirty laundry. For example, if you've just gotten out of jail, that's something to keep to yourself. I really don't think it's something to broadcast on Facebook. And, in all honesty, if you have to go to Facebook for support/affirmation, well...that's just a sad commentary on someone's life. Sad.

Relationship Drama. Again, this is inappropriate. No one wants to read the argument or making up between two people in a romantic relationship. No one wants to see the gushy stuff either. Keep this between the two of you. Please.

Bathroom Selfies. This one should not even have to be discussed. It should be abundantly CLEAR that we do NOT post selfies taken in the bathroom. That's just stupid. And gross. If you do, do NOT be surprised if people comment in a negative manner. You sort of walk right into that when you post stupid things on the Facebook.

Naked Pix of any kind. Sadly, this isn't self explanatory. Even if it's partial nudity, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE IT. And, those who do, you don't really want to share this with. Cover up people. Again, don't complain if you do it and get negative or crude comments.

Broadcast the problems of other people. Seriously, I don't care who it is or what your relationship is to them, it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS TO BROADCAST. This happened just the other day when someone posted something about one of her family members on a friend's timeline FOR ALL TO SEE. That's right. When it's posted on a friend's timeline, that friend is not the only one who sees it. Really stupid.

Personal information. To much personal information posted on Facebook can cause you some big trouble down the road. I know a woman older than I who put her phone number on a friend's Facebook timeline. Which means it showed up on mine and many others. Dumb ass thing to do.

Vacation plans. Unless, of course, you want it to get out that no one will be at your house and that it would be a great time for someone to go over there and rob you. Post about your vacation upon your return. When you're tired and grumpy enough that no one would dare come near your house. I do know, personally, people who do this and think that the possibility of someone taking advantage of their absence is nonexistence. Tell that to the people who were robbed because of posting their vacay plans on Facebook.

Location. Again, posting your current location tells potential thieves that you are not at home and they should run over right away to rob you. More importantly, if you've posted pictures of your kids AND your location...that's just making it easy for the perves.

Pictures of your kids/grandkids tagged with their names. Seriously. This is not safe. It gives a potential perve a name to use. 

Political opinions. This just makes you sound opinionated and judgmental and can come across as trying to bully others into believing as you do. Share your political views with those who want to hear them but most of us on Facebook couldn't care less. If you want to put this stuff out there, make a page for your political views. Or just follow your favorite politicians and comment. A lot. 

On a related note, Your Religion/Religious Views. I'm so glad other people have them. I have my own. But no one who doesn't know me personally knows what they are. I don't shove my views down the throats of others and I wish they would return the favor.

Anything that could work against you when applying for college or employment or keeping a job. Duh. We could even extend this to include anything that anyone could use against you for any reason. A lot of what I've already discussed falls into this categroy. With the popularity and ease of access of social media, it is no surprise that future employers (not to mention college application folks) are checking us out via any and all social media sites. 

Negativity. I am SICK of hearing negativity people post about their jobs or relationships or just in general because they are negative people. Stop it. NOW. Hate the job? Get a new one. Or at least spend time searching for a better one instead of sharing nothing but negativity about the one they do have. Unless it's got humor. If it's just something being said because it's funny, I'm down with that. How can you tell? Because you laugh and because those people aren't constantly/consistently posting negativity. Same deal with relationships. I tend to see the people in this category as attention seekers who love to host pity parties.

Ills and ailments. I seriously DO NOT want to hear about someone's diarrhea. I don't want to hear about that hospital stay and what they did, step by step, to them while they were there. If there's a serious illness someone is battling and they want to post for friends and family, make a page. That will be a good place for people, who are into hearing all that stuff, to go and catch up/keep up with them. OR use a private message or make it an event for people to choose whether or not to see it. I find most of these folks to be attention seekers too.

Drunk Posts. Seriously. Don't do this. It's a really STUPID thing to do. This includes pix for obvious reasons.

The Games. Don't post about the games you're playing and ask people for lives. We don't like that. At all.

Gossip. It's not nice. It can actually be considered cyberbullying. 

Things that are ok to post via Facebook:

Good news. It's ok to share good news- a new job, new addition, new relationship, etc. As long as we aren't shoving it in someone's face. Motivation behind the action, people. Motivation.

Humor. If you possess it. If not, there are tons of pages to 'Like' out there that provide clever quips and humor for you! Plus, most of us need a laugh every day! This should never be done in a mean-spirited manner. Check that motivation.

Congratulations. It's great when people offer congratulations and that's fine on Facebook. We all need a pat on the back from time to time.

Celebrations. Everyone appreciates and enjoys a good celebration- birthdays, weddings, etc. Just be careful of the pictures and the tagging of said pictures.

Non-embarrassing pictures. Those that you don't mind people seeing. Be careful posting pictures of others. Make sure they don't mind being tagged and DO NOT tag their kids.

Words of encouragement. This is not a bad thing to post on Facebook either when it's something like "You can do it!" or "You've got this!"  But I don't think it should be done to the level of exposing someone's private business as to why you're offering the encouragement.

Weather updates. I know this sounds weird and uninteresting. But our family has a friend who works for the National Weather Service (or did- retired) and, because we live in an area affected by hurricanes, I loved and appreciated it when he posted hurricane updates.

PR for friends. This is usually fine as long as the friend or family member doesn't mind. For example, a lot of us at school promoted our friend's brand new book when it was first published.

Team support. Have a favorite sports team? Go ahead and cheer for them on Facebook. But don't get something started with a fan of a rival team. That probably won't end well. Unless it's all in good fun. Which it should be unless you're just a ridiculous individual.

Appreciation for others. I like to do this on occasion just because I have some friends that are so wonderful that I want everyone to know how great these people are. If they don't like it, just take it down.

Great Recipes. YES, please! I'm always up for a new one or a remake of an old one or whatever is out there to be shared!


Just remember: anything you post to social media can and will be used against you in one way or another and you could end up paying dearly for it.

What did I leave out? What are your thoughts?

This is Day 6 of the A-Z Challenge!

E-Waste

Every week, I teach over 650 elementary students various computer skills from the basics to coding. I am also covering the issue of electronic waste (e-waste) this year. And I wonder, how many of you out there are aware of the problem of e-waste?

Technology is growing at incredible rates. It seems that every couple of months, they've created a newer, faster, more aesthetically pleasing device that we cannot live without.

How many times do you upgrade your cell phone? Your laptop? Your tablet? Do you own every single piece of technology that you can afford?

Do you know what happens with the electronic devices that you grow tired of or that are no longer functional?

Here are the three videos that I am showing to my 3rd-5th grade students. K-2 are seeing shortened versions. Not one single student has shown a lack of interest. Or shock.

The videos aren't that long. However, if you do not want to take the time to watch or to research on your own, let me point out just a couple of important facts:

• Recycling centers that are not certified have no restrictions on how or where they recycle our e-waste. They tend to send it to developing countries where the environment is being destroyed as well as the health of many children and women.
• If you think you have erased your information from your computers, you are wrong. Organized crime can EASILY access ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION from your hard drive. TAKE YOUR HARD DRIVE OUT AND DESTROY IT. 
• It is VITAL that we EDUCATE OURSELVES to the issue of e-waste. 

Information from the EPA is located HERE
.
When you recycle your e-waste, there are two (that I know of) certifications that you should look for: R2 and e-Stewards.

Find an e-steward recycler near you HERE.
Find an R2 recycler near you HERE and HERE.
Search SERI (Sustainable Electronic Recycling International) HERE.

I hope your state is more concerned than mine- SC. I have contacted the two state representatives who sponsored legislation that concerns only manufacturers of electronics asking them about future legislation concerning recycling centers. That was over one month ago. I have yet to hear back from them.

Are you from SC, too? Go HERE.

The NCSL information is HERE and gives some good information about the states that do have laws of some sort regarding e-waste recycling.


Become an e-Stewards Envoy HERE.

PLEASE, educate yourselves about this most important issue.

This is Day 5 of the A-Z Challenge!

It's All About the Dog

I've loved many dogs over my years. I can't remember a time when there wasn't a dog in our family. A dog is just the greatest thing you can have.

When it was the youngest daughter's turn to go off to college, she and her sisters got me a pup for Mother's Day. His name is Tucker and he is the love of my life.

The very first time we saw Tucker- Mother's Day 2008

Tucky's first day home.

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet.  ~Edith Wharton

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.  ~Franklin P. Jones

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.  ~Author Unknown

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.  ~Roger Caras

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.  ~Ambrose Bierce

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.  ~Phil Pastoret

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh Billings

Happiness is a warm puppy.  ~Charles M. Schulz

The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog. M.K. Clinton

That face. :)

This is Day 4 of the A-Z Challenge!

Cloudbursts

I do enjoy a good cloudburst. Especially in the summer time. Not the kind of cloudburst that I'm about to have around this house since two of my four daughters have moved back home. No, the cloudbursts I love are the ones provided by Mother Nature. 

I am known to get lost in my thoughts. Hardly a day passes that doesn't find me visiting my childhood. Those are some of my best memories. Besides my college ones. Ha!

But stormy days are the best days to get lost in my thoughts. A good cloudburst will take my mind back to my childhood. I have loved storms since I was a child. I mostly remember the cloudbursts of summer which came along every afternoon bringing sheets of rain, booming thunder, and crackling lightning. Those were the days before central air conditioning so our windows were open and the winds that accompanied those summer cloudbursts caused the sheers hanging in front of the windows to billow out like sails and then float, slowly back to their original position before the next wind came through the screens and repeated the hypnotizing process. If the wind was particularly strong, the sheers would rush straight out into the room and then float back down—until we rushed around and closed the windows because the next thing to come rushing into the rooms was the wind driven rain. Some days we had to rush outside to get the clothes off the clothesline before they got wet but, when there were linens on the line, I would stand between the sheets as they blew all around me and breathe in their clean, fresh air aroma. The smell that was left behind when the storms left was so fresh and clean and grassy (and no matter what they say, no one has ever been able to reproduce this smell in a fragrance). These summer wonders only last a half hour or so, but they were quite enjoyable and have certainly provided me with treasured, sensory memories.  

I'll leave you with one of my favorite rain songs. Because it's Neil. And who doesn't love Neil? :)

This is Day 3 of the A-Z Challenge!

Balancing Act

Finding balance has never really been much of a problem for me. When my four daughters were growing up, I was lucky enough to stay at home with them (I was a SAHM---can you believe they have an acronym for it now? Like it's a brand new thing to do?...Good. Grief.) and balance was pretty easy to find. After they all grew up and moved out, I found balance in an empty nest. And, later, I started teaching at a local elementary school and found balance once again. No problem.

Not really.  During those in between times- the periods of adjustment- that's when I have a bit of trouble with balance.

My life was easily balanced during the 25+ years of raising four daughters. I quickly adjusted with the birth of each daughter and fell into a smooth routine each time. Of course, by routine, I mean I learned to go with the flow. As long as you can do that, the balance is there. My balance was not having an agenda and learning to change horses in the middle of the stream because, if you've got kids, just trying to have a set schedule is impossible. Someone will always throw a wrench into something. Go with the flow and you feel balance.

But then, the last one headed off to college and, BOOM! No more balance. I worked hard in my search for empty nest balance. It only took me about three years but I did it! And I liked it. Except that there were some long hours that still seemed empty. And then, I was offered the opportunity to teach in the computer lab at the elementary school my daughters attended.

BOOM! Empty nest balance gone and the adjustment period was back. It didn't take me too long this time. I had no children at home so all I had to do, really, was go to school, teach, come home and spend time with my pup. If I wanted to eat, I would cook or just have leftovers. If I wanted to prepare meals on the weekend for the week, I would. If I wanted to garden, I did. What about the mister? Hey, I was working now too so he could do whatever he wanted to. His adjustment in finding balance was probably harder than mine. I found balance that was quite liberating.

Until two of the daughters moved back home.

Biggest BOOM of my life. The first one was only going to be here for one year at the most. She's in her second year. The second one just appeared about three months ago with no idea how long she will stay. The balance is evading me. I had gotten close until second daughter moved back. Now there is no semblance of balance to be found.

So far, balance is not hiding in the war zone that are their rooms. Rooms that I had just finished redecorating before they moved back in.

It's not hiding in the plethora of dirty dishes that sit in huge piles until I wash them.

It's not hiding in the disgusting filth of their bathroom that even I won't clean.

All is not hopeless, however. Because, every so often I do catch a glimmer of balance. I see it grin at me when we all realize that we have the same thing in common like hating it when the bottom of our feet itch.

Or how none of us cares about fine china or silver. Or when we fall into hysterics when we sound like we're all arguing but we're just being silly or mocking something from a movie. Or when I get the feeling of belonging that comes with being with two of the best people I know. The sense of comfort at belonging to this group of crazy girls.

I see it in the knowledge that we can be who we are and are loved anyway.

I even see it when I get flustered and call a Cadbury Cream Egg a Cradbury Cheese Wafer. And it makes Facebook. Sigh.

Yes. Sometimes balance is hard to find. But, if we look deep into the heart of our relationship with our children, no matter how old they are, we'll see it.

This is Day 2 of the A-Z Challenge!

A-Z Challenge: Authentic People

How many authentic people do you really know? And, how devastated are you when you discover someone isn't authentic at all?

It's a real eye opener for me. And a huge disappointment.

Of course, as with most things in life, this disappointment could be in my own naivety. Or gullibility. Either way, it is disappointing. Even at my age. Which is old. Unless you're older, then I guess I'm not THAT old.

But I am old enough to know better, to use better judgement when determining the authenticity of others. Sometimes, though, we might not discover that someone we've known for YEARS is not an authentic person until one day, during a conversation with the right person at the right time. Or merely from observation.

So, what determines whether or not a person is authentic? Here's what I think:

Authentic People:

1. Tell the truth. They are not going to say something because it's what's expected or because it's what someone wants to hear. They are going to be truthful regardless. They are open and possess integrity. They have nothing to hide.

2. Do not pretend. You know who they are because they are who they are regardless of where they are with whom they are spending their time. They can't help it. They have to be themselves. And they cannot be swayed.

3. Are responsible. For their lives, their actions, for everything they say and do. And they do not try to turn anything around on someone else. They step up.

4. Do not need approval or validation. Authentic people don't really care what others think about them. They are comfortable with themselves and they like themselves. They don't need someone else to make them feel this way.

5. Are not envious of others. Instead, an authentic person is happy for the success of others. You will probably even see them being a motivating force behind the success of others.

6. Do not judge. Authentic people tend towards being nonjudgmental. However, being human makes being totally nonjudgmental difficult. When an authentic person falls into this trap, they seem to do so in a more positive manner. They treat others with respect and compassion regardless of whether or not they agree or disagree with them.

7. Listen. They care enough about others to take the time to truly listen to what they have to say. They make real connections with others.

8. Fail. Yep, authentic people fail. But they learn from it instead of getting frustrated and quit. They know how to regroup, reevaluate and try again. Or, if a brand new route is called for, they take it willingly and with enthusiasm.

9. Do not sit still. Not that they don't rest but they don't just sit idly and let life pass them by. They go out and embrace their surroundings. They do things. They have fun. They enjoy life.

10. Have no hidden agenda. They do things for others without expectation of return but, rather, because they are nice, caring people. There is no hidden agenda with authentic folks.

That's my top ten characteristics of authentic people. Am I authentic? In some ways, but I certainly have a lot of work to do. After some recent discoveries of a few people I know, what I've decided is that it's time for some self-reflection.

I can't make others be authentic. But I can work on myself.

Are you authentic?

This is Day 1 of the A-Z Challenge!