Saturday, December 6, 2014

Merry, Happy, Joyous

I saw this somewhere in cyberspace a couple of weeks ago and I love it. It's exactly how I feel about it myself. It truly does not matter to me how others greet me during the holidays. I just appreciate that they bothered to greet me at all. 

There are people of many different cultures and religions in this country and I do not believe that people should try to force others to believe the way they do or say things the way they do. Christmas is not the only holiday celebrated in December. It's the one my family and I celebrate but it's not the only holiday. And you will hear me saying both "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" not because I'm afraid of offending anyone but more out of respect for their right to celebrate their holiday just as I have a right to celebrate mine. 

I'm sick and tired of people trying to force their views on me and judging everyone who doesn't believe the way they do. Sick of it, I say. 

Beliefs are personal. We are all allowed to hold our own views and beliefs in our own way. Though there are the entitled some (many, in fact) who think everyone should believe the way they do. That only their religion is the right religion. That only their political views are the right political views. That only their way of doing anything and everything is the right way of doing anything and everything. I disagree with them. Wholeheartedly so. 

I love the diversity in our country. I love that here, people have the freedom to believe and worship and celebrate their way and I support this freedom. I love hearing about other cultures and other religions and I made a point of exposing my four daughters to as much diversity as possible and they are most grateful for that exposure today. Exposure to the diversity has never swayed my own personal beliefs. No one I know personally or to whom I have been exposed has ever tried to change my mind but only to share ideas with me. I have not turned to a different religion. I have not adopted a different culture. And I have not turned gay. I have merely grown into a better person. 

The only people who have had a negative affect on my beliefs are those who share my faith. Those who try to force their views on others. Those who stand on their perverted version of the faith. They are critical and judgmental and I am, quite frankly, embarrassed. Was this great country not founded on the idea of religious freedom? 

In our home, we will celebrate Christmas this year just as we do every year. And, also, as we do every year, we will not sit in judgement or be offended by what other people celebrate. Nor will we give anyone a smack down who shouts a hardy, "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Kwanzaa" or whatever in our direction. Instead, we shall respond, with a smile and a good feeling from knowing that they thought enough to greet us at all during the holidays, with a "Merry Christmas" or a "Happy Holidays" right back. And we will experience happy hearts from the exchange.

Isn't it just nice that we all have something in common? Something positive to celebrate that gives up hope? And, shouldn't we be more focused on THAT than whether someone is saying, "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays?"

The choice is simple. Spend the holidays trying to force others who celebrate holidays in December to ignore their traditions and adopt yours and sit in judgement of them when they do not or enjoy and appreciate our diversity and keep the joy in your heart and soul that the season brings. Regardless of the type of celebration.

Thursday, December 4, 2014


We're doing a lot of work concerning bullying at our school

I love that they talk about bystanders in the video. Our school has adopted the Olweus bullying program this year and our students know all about bystanders now.

A bystander just stands by. They do nothing. They stand and watch or they slowly and quietly move away. Bystanders don't add to the bullying but they also do nothing to stop it or help the ones being bullied.

I totally get it. Sometimes, the bullying is so intense that the fear of acting on behalf of the bullied rules our actions. Especially if the bystander is a child or the one bullying is in possession of a weapon. I would think that all of us would give a second thought or ten if the bullying human was bigger or had a following ready to pounce. Nevertheless, if we don't stand up against those who bully, how will we ever stop it?

We've noticed that, at our school, the students are speaking out more and more. We're quite fortunate that we don't have much of a bullying problem but we're also fortunate to have a guidance counselor that wants to make sure it stays that way.

My hope is that, because we're starting the ball rolling in elementary school, that, at the very least, our students will be more willing to stand up to bullying as they get older.

Were y'all bullied as children? As adults?
Were you the one doing the bullying?
Have you stepped in on behalf of someone being bullied? (That's an upstander).
Have you ever been a bystander?

Share time.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Mate Poaching- They Needed a Study for That?

Really? Because I could have told them the very things they found out from the study and would not have charged them nearly as much as it probably cost them to conduct the actual study. Seriously.

To be honest, I've always thought that, should it be possible for someone to 'poach' your mate, it will, most likely, be even easier for the next 'poacher' to be successful. A person's openness to 'poaching' is not going to change. It's not rocket science and it doesn't require a study. Just a little observation into human nature.

It's not surprising that the studies found that poached partners are less devoted to the relationship. Why? Because they don't have to be. They are just squatting for a bit waiting for the next poacher to come by and state their case as to why they would be the better partner.

It is also not surprising that they found poached partners are self centered, more likely to cheat and consider sex as a physical act rather than one of intimacy.

Now, I'm not sure about the findings of the third study that poached partners are not as nice and more irresponsible. The few I have known are quite nice and very responsible. Just not in personal relationships.

And, just to cover the other side, those doing the poaching are not that trust worthy either. They seem to become restless and go on the prowl as soon as the thrill of the catch is over.

When did it become necessary to pay big bucks to study a topic that should be considered common sense?

Y'all can read about it at The Open Mind.