Monday, October 27, 2014

Relationship Deal Breakers

I'm guessing that most folks have their own list of relationship deal breakers. I know I do. Are any of these on your list?

1. Drinking. Well, not just drinking but being drunk. A lot. Being a drunk. An alcoholic. I've dealt with this issue for over 25 years. It's amazing how we think, at first, that we can make a difference. That we are the chosen one for making that difference with this particular person. We spend years trying to hide the problem from our children and other people that surround our family while trying to help the person overcome his problem with booze. But the kids grow up and those who surround your family see more than you think and the person with the problem just isn't going to change or even try until THEY THEMSELVES are ready.

2. Not putting family first. And, by family, I mean the family that one makes with his wife and children (or her husband and children-or wife/wife or husband/husband, whatever). In my mind, the family you make with your significant other is THE relationship on which you place your focus, your energy, your time, your everything. When all of your attention is put on the birth family instead, however, and the family you make with another human being is always on hold while you do this, THAT is a deal breaker. If your family needs that much attention, you have no business taking on a significant other.

3. Pack-ratting. This is particularly considered a deal breaker when the house you live in contains less than 1500 square feet and the junk being pack-ratted spews out into the side and back yards. Not cool. Deal breaker. Throw that @#$% away and stop holding onto junk. Especially if the main reason you're holding onto it is just so that you can, when someone states they are looking for something, be the one to say, "I have one!" And then proceed to CHARGE them for the item. That's just wrong. Give it to them.

4.Poor hygiene. Do I really need to go into detail about this one? Seriously, brush your teeth and take a shower. Daily.

5. Arrogance/entitlement, Honestly, walking around with the attitude that the world owes us something is just stupid. The world revolves around no person. Not a single one. Trying to have a relationship with someone who feels the world does, indeed, revolve around them is fruitless. You can't make them understand. And, if you don't believe the world revolves around them, they will make your life quite unpleasant. Like it isn't already just from having a relationship with them.

6. Making assumptions about your significant other without ever trying to know who they truly are. Yeah, that's just not nice in any relationship. Those who truly care, get to know their significant other. It's not difficult. It just means paying attention. Be a student of the people around you. Show them you care. Funny how these people get angry with you when you don't know something about them even though they've never taken the time to get to know the real you.

7. Not following up your talk with action. When you say you're going to do something, DO it. Or, at the very least, explain to people why you can't do it. Even better, don't say it until you're sure you CAN do it. Otherwise, you'll be known as a promise breaker. And that means trust has been tampered with. When you tamper with trust, you've really done it. Integrity still means something. Even though it's not seen often these days.

Just Do It

8. Having pity parties. No one is ever invited to these parties but they sure are exposed to them. The whining that goes on is intolerable. The world is out to get them. These things only happen to them. Riiight. Delusional idiot.

9. Spouting your opinion and disrespecting the opinions of your significant other. NOT cool. Everyone has an opinion about everything. If you think that everyone who doesn't agree with you is an idiot, then you will soon be out of friends and a significant other.

some people.... ❥

10. Abuse OF ANY KIND. Be it physical, emotional, verbal, intellectual, mental- whatever- ABUSE IS UNACCEPTABLE.

Those are my top ten relationship deal breakers. What's on your list?

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Doctor, Doctor

Let ME give YOU the news.

I don't trust you. I don't want a pill thrown at me for anything. I see how you sit there leaning to one side because your wallet is so fat you sit lopsided. And I know who's putting the fat in that wallet. And I don't like that either.

I don't like the way you sit there with the look of judgement on your face. Fake concern doesn't cut it. If you do not possess true, real, compassionate feelings for your patients, why are you a doctor? Perhaps you should consider research. Although, pharmaceutical company supported research is still fattening up your wallet in an effort to make people just well enough but not cured, so...

I realize that this does not apply to ALL doctors everywhere. But it certainly seems to apply to most doctors around here. I base this on personal experience and stories from friends. The doctors in our area seem to cater to those patients who do not ask for second opinions. Those who accept everything the doctors tell them without question or hesitation.

That is not the type of patient I am. Nor do I want to be that type of patient.

And all that waiting in the waiting room? Doctors tell us, "Some cases take longer than others and, if you was you who needed more time, you'd want me to spend it with you." That is a stupid statement spewing from the mouth of Dr. Obvious. Trust me, Dr. Obvious, it's not that we mind your willingness to spend that extra time with another patient or that emergency that comes up. I, personally, do not even mind if your family needed something because they should come first and I'm certain they respect your occupation and would not be contacting you if it wasn't necessary.

The problem with the waiting is your office staff. They are rude and tell us nothing. The last doctor I visited had a sign in the waiting room: If you have been waiting longer than 20 minutes, please let us know. Apparently the rest of the sign--SO WE CAN SHOW YOU HOW MUCH WE REALLY DO NOT CARE--had been cut off because giving these women the information they asked you to give them is a HUGE mistake. I discovered this as they reamed an older person a new butt-hole for POLITELY mentioning they had been waiting for over an hour. Perhaps it was because she did not go up to the desk at the 20 minute 1 second mark or perhaps the office staff was not interested in knowing how long any of us had been waiting. The sign was, shall we say, false advertising? They were trying to make us feel that they care about how we feel and how long we're waiting. Maybe that they are using this to make the scheduling more efficient. But I doubt that.

NEVER do we get a general statement informing us that an emergency has happened. NEVER do we get any statement informing us that the doctor is running x number of minutes or hours behind followed by giving us the option of rescheduling. Of course, that could be partially due to the fact that they now take your money PRIOR to your turn.

I confess that I do not know the reasons for these procedures. What I do know is that I do not appreciate nor respect the current policies. I do not find them patient friendly. My first thought was that this is ridiculous because it's our money that pays all their salaries. But now I think that we just pay for a few little things like staples and pencils. Most of their money seems to be coming from their support of pharmaceuticals.

This is a huge trust issue with me. And the trust is no longer there.

Do you have one you can trust? And, are you healed? Or are they keeping you coming back time after time after time?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

What a Spoiled Brat

Some of you may remember that we have new neighbors across the street. The five college girls? In our quiet, family neighborhood? Yeah, those.

I'll give them credit for not parking in front of my house since I exploded in their faces a while back. And I'll also give them credit because they do provide entertainment. 

Last week, we heard something that resembled arguing and, thinking it was the drunks that live on one side of us, stepped out the front door for the show. It wasn't the drunks. 

One of those college girls was sitting on the front porch steps across the street YELLING at her mother through the phone. We heard, "MOM! YOU HAVE TO SEND ME MONEY! I DON'T HAVE ANY EFFING CLOTHES TO WEAR! SEND ME SOME MONEY!" 

DEMANDING this. To her MOTHER. And, if I were to judge by the cars those girls drive- brand new and very expensive-  coupled with the way they dress and act, I'd say she'll get that money even though she was a total spoiled bitch about it. 

Wow. I wish I could say this was a first for me but it was not. I know someone with a kid like that. Yep, They exist. They are HORRID CREATURES. And they are enabled by their parents. 

Parents of these kids fuel that fire by giving these brats whatever they DEMAND. These demon kids are consistent in their demands and in berating their parents. These kids are rude, disrespectful and thing that the world owes them. They drive big, expensive cars and wear all the latest fashions--their closets are overflowing with clothes that they wear one time and discard. They have the latest technology and, while in college, have parent supported apartments/houses that are fully furnished with new furniture/accessories also funded by said parents. These kids don't have a worry in the world. They also don't have a clue. They want for nothing. Except more. And more. It's never enough for these 

On top of being demanding they are ungrateful and they pit their idiot parents against one another. Why do I refer to the parents as idiots? Because they not only allow this behavior, they support it. Perhaps they are holding out hope that their spawn of Satan will change. Right. Keep hoping. But children learn and do what they are taught. And, if these parents haven't nipped it by now, it may very well never get nipped. 

I will say that these girls make for some entertainment. It's amusing and sad and disgusting all rolled up together. I wonder if filming an episode and showing it to them would make a difference? I bet the video would get tons of hits on YouTube. Or Facebook. Ha!

Oh and, to my sweet neighbor who said she heard they were part of a church group here in town so we should give them a chance, let me just say- I believe you might have been misinformed. 

Time to weigh in, y'all! Let's hear it---- 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Abusers Piss Me Off

Check out this video:

Even though I have too much a lot to say about everything an issue or two, I am, to a degree, a pacifist. I just have a hard time believing that violence breeds anything other than violence. I am one of those who believes we can still reason with others. Naive though that train of thought may be, it's where I stand in most situations.

However, when I see something like this (or child abuse or animal abuse), it not only saddens me, I can also become rather angry. There is NO EXCUSE for this type of behavior. NONE. ZIP. ZERO. NADA.

And no one can convince me otherwise.

When I watched the video, I found it difficult to take even though I knew it was a social experiment film. I don't like to see anyone beating on or verbally abusing another person--said the avid football fan.

Were y'all surprised by the results of the experiment? I wasn't. Why? Stereotypes.

In general, we believe that a man should not hit a woman. Every single person I know who has sons has taught them from the time they were little tiny tots that they are NOT to hit a woman, no matter what. So, when people jumped in to stop the man from hitting the woman, it was just the right thing to do according to our social mores.

So, why didn't they stop the woman from hitting the man?

I think the reasons were that people who see a woman carrying on like that think that she's crazy and will most likely go off on them too OR that the guy did something to deserve that treatment OR he's a wimp who can't even defend himself against a woman.

Y'all know how we're always complaining about those blasted double standards? Well, this is one and it's on the other foot.

If the person being abused cannot or will not stand up for themselves due to fear or embarrassment or whatever reason, we have to stand up for them.

It matters not who is abusing whom- stand up and say something. Period.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Stupid Asses

When, exactly, did it become the norm to rush out and publish something someone hears as truth right away without investigating? Shouldn't we know for sure, have the FACTS BEFORE making it public?

It's like every type of news media- television, newspaper, magazine, online. offline, wherever, whatever has now become a National Enquirer of sorts.

Is investigative reporter even a real career choice these days? I hear of it the on the news but I don't believe they are used for every piece of information that surfaces.

I believe it's pop culture. People, in general, are more interested in pop culture than they are in REAL, serious, LIFE CHANGING news. 

Let us consider the issue of Stephen Collins' alleged molestation. The next thing you know, we're hearing what certain celebs have to say on the issue and what friends of the wife have to say and how his novels fueled the alleged victim to speak up. 


Who knows how much of this is true AT THIS TIME? How much of this has been investigated? WHY in this whole wide world, is THIS important news worthy of our time and attention?

You know what I'm more concerned about? I am way more concerned about the convicted molester that moved into a neighborhood close to ours. I just do not understand why it's so much worse and why more importance is placed on this issue when a celeb of sorts is involved. 

You know what's sad? That this stuff isn't worthy of overload until a celeb or semi-celeb is involved. 

Why isn't it of the utmost importance when it happens on the peon level? 

Come on, people. Pull it together. Surely the high emphasis isn't related to the ROLE of MINISTER he played on television. He's not a minister in real life. Though there have been real life men of the cloth guilty of these types of offenses. But even those stories get a minute on the news and then pushed onto the back burner. But let a celeb be accused and BAM! Front page news that spawns baby stories and judgement and it stays in the forefront for weeks. 

This is just one example. This type of media reporting takes place all the time these days. Even GMA has put emphasis on a segment they call, POP NEWS. They fuel the fire of BS news because this is where the interest of the general public lies.

Which tells me that the general public truly is- STUPID.

Please know that I am not defending Collins- he's simply my example. I am bashing the media. Again.

What do y'all think?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Happy Birthday, Birdie!

It's birthday time in our family!

A friend of mine got me started on this crazy JibJab site so I've been making crazy videos for the last several days.

Here's one for you, Birdie:

Happy Birthday!

Monday, October 13, 2014

If I've Said It Once...

Monday, you come around way to quickly every week. I'm tired of you. Or, I'm too tired to appreciate you. Or something like that. One thing that helps me make it through is the Monday Listicles! Click the little picture/button thingy, make your own list and join in the fun!

This week's listicles is Ten Things I Say Too Much. There are quite a few more than ten things spewing forth too often, but I just put the first ten that came to mind.

Ten Things I Say Too Much

1. What did I just say?
2. What the hell?
3. UGH.
4. I don't WANT to go to school today.
5. Monday SUCKS.
6. Is it Friday yet?
7. When are the freaking fall temps going to show up?
8. I'm so tired.
9. Y'all don't have any trouble eating but God forbid you wash a dang dish in this place.
10. Cam Newton is overrated and overpaid.

Have a great week, y'all!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Passing of the Baton

There's a blog hop in town. All you do is answers some questions and pass the baton on to two bloggers.

Ok, so thanks to my ex friend, Barb at This and That as I Bounce Through Life the baton has passed to me on this blog hop. 

Thankssomuch, Barb. And no worries. I WILL be thumping you on the head with the baton. ;) 

This thing has been passed by and to REAL writers who possess REAL humor and so I have no idea why she passed it on to me. Though I do feel honored. Albeit undeserved. I'll probably forgive Barb. One day. Ha!

Apparently, I have to answer a question or four and then pass the baton.

1. What am I working on? Survival. Yes, I'm trying to survive teaching elementary students. Good Lord who in the world EVER thought I should take on teaching? On the blogging front, I started a new blog, this one, because I have a gazillion things that I need to air out and get out in an effort to clean house. And maybe change the world. Right.

2. How does my work differ from others in this genre? They don't suck at it and I do. They possess humor, I do not. They possess the vocabulary to make their writing interesting, I do not. I know what I want to say and I think I do just fine until I read what someone else wrote. That's when I realize I don't exactly have what it takes. Does this stop me? Absolutely not. Because, surely, it's in there somewhere. And, if I keep at it, that gift will pop up and shine.

3. Why do I write what I do? Because I have a driving need to get some stuff out. Because I need to make some discoveries. Because I have to.

4. How does my writing process work? It is all about a wild and crazy motication. I never know when it's going to kick in. It could be in the middle of the day or the middle of the night. It could be morning or evening. Any time of day or night. But, when it hits, I have to go at it full steam. Which makes teaching interesting because, yes, it has hit me during the school day. In other words, the process doesn't work for me. I work for the process.  

And now, I'm passing the baton on to two people whose blogs I enjoying reading. It wasn't easy narrowing this down, but I did it. First is to Cathy at Cold Lake Cathy. I don't care what this woman writes about- travel, her family, life in general, books---whatever the topic, the content contains humor that has, at times, caused my coffee to spew from my mouth, through my nose and onto my computer. Second is to my friend Kim at My Field of Dreams. Not only do you get to view photos of her lovely farm, Kim's writing is full of imagery that makes the photos unnecessary. When I read her posts, I can not only see exactly what the scene looks like, but I can smell the smells. I always leave there feeling so calm and refreshed. 

That's it y'all! 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Losing Your Innocence

I saw this post on Facebook the other day that said, "Google your name followed by, "is a" and, because curiosity often gets the best of me, I did it.

I got, "Pam is a dark winter." And this, of course, led me to do some thinking. Surface at first and then deeper. I think that just about sums me up.

Now, I like a dark winter. I like the coziness of a fire and blankets and all things flannel and cuddly snuggles and snow storms--the kind that do not cause damage to people's selves and homes---and the early night fall...

But, I thought, a dark winter is not that great to most people I know. To these people, dark winter carries negative connotations. Even I can see that side when I look deep inside. It can, if I'm not careful, remind me of lost innocence.

When I think of losing my innocence, I remember first relating it to the moments, and there have been many, when I realized my parents were not being completely honest. And it was devastating.

In my mind, my parents were amazing in every way. They were smarter than any other parents anywhere. They were my safety net. They always told the truth. They would always be there. Blahblahblah.

I suppose we all felt that way about our parents. There's nothing wrong with it. Until you realize that they are mere humans. It took me forever and a day to get over it once the realization hit me.

I am one of those people who is too trusting. Or, I used to be. I've been betrayed by nearly every single person in my life. With the exception of one college friend, who remains dear to me to this very day, my grandparents and my lovely daughters. Every single other person whom I let in, just close enough, betrayed me in some way.

Some of this betrayal may seem nothing more than a betrayal from a child's perspective. But, that's where it begins for some of us. It can begin as something so simple as telling someone that Santa is 'not real' and go move from there to using our innocence against us in making us do things we don't want to do but do anyway because we want to be loved and accepted.

The things that I allowed people to use me for make a fairly long list. And yes, even as a child, it was I who allowed them to use and betray me. And yet, I was foolish enough to believe that out there in the world, somewhere, surely, there were people who would love and accept me without expectation of some form of payment.

I have to say, to this very day, there are people in my life still using and betraying me. To. This. Day. So it's no wonder that I have trust issues. And that I keep everyone at arm's length.

I can tell you vivid stories of betrayals from the time I was in elementary school until recent times. I won't. I'll spare y'all the details.

I am not looking for sympathy. If there's one thing I can't stand it's being pitied. I hate that. I don't pity myself, why would I want it from others?

No, I am quite aware of the people who surround me in my personal life. They have at some point, and some continue to do it, betrayed me. I believe, for the most part I have forgiven but forgotten? Never. Let them closer? Not going to happen. I remember. I remember clearly. And I've shut them off from that part of me that they can hurt. That won't happen again.

But there are good things, good people, in my life. Things that I am astutely aware of especially during a dark winter. Some of my best memories are of dark winters. That's probably why I love winter so. And I'm almost certain that my adoration of autumn is partly due to the fact that it prepares me for those dark winters.

So, yeah. I Googled my name followed by, "is a" and I got 'dark winter'. And that is who I am. What I am. And I'm quite good with that.

Are you going to Google your name followed by, "is a"?