Thursday, September 18, 2014

To Touch or Not to Touch

Are you a touch-me-not or a hover-er? In our house, we have both. I, personally, am a touch-me-not. Especially when I am sick.

I know people who like to be catered to. Hovered over. Their every need/desire/whim to be met. That's not going to happen if you live here.

Unless you're a kid. But I'm talking about grown up people here.

I didn't mind one bit taking care of my kids. But when grown ups expect me to take care of them, well, it wouldn't be wise for them to hold their breath while waiting.

I guess it's because I don't like to be hovered over when I'm not feeling well. Actually, I do not like to be hovered over for any reason at any time. I need at least a 5 foot radius most of the time.

I'm ok when my students want to give me a hug- unless the thought of lice pops into my thinking. Or they have a snotty nose or have just had their hands somewhere. I'm ok when my family is handing out hugs as well. That's not what I consider hovering behavior.

Hover-ers are people who follow me around from room to room talking incessantly about nothing or trying to tell me that I should be doing whatever it is I'm doing the way they do it and not the way I do it. You know, the kind who stick their noses right where they do not belong.

The kind who are just asking to have those noses punch.

Sometimes, these hover types have a tendency to lean in towards your face when conversing with you. Holy crap! I can't tell you how difficult it is not to push them back.

Five foot radius, people. Five foot radius.

And, if you're a smoker, wear perfume or smelly lotion--that's a ten footer.

And please, for the love of all things good on this earth, do NOT hover over my shoulder while I am reading or working on the computer. Eegads!

Being a touch-me-not is one reason I don't fly. The other is my issue with closed in spaces. Which is related to this issue.

Oh, and on the previous mention of hugging- let's not hold that hug for an uncomfortable length of time. Five seconds is plenty of time. It might even be close to pushing the time boundary.Of course, I'm not talking intimacy here. That's different. Weird, right? I know.

I'm sure there are folks out there who are not protective of their personal space. Mine is guarded better than Fort Knox.

What about you? Are you a hover-er, a touch-me-not or do you fall somewhere in the middle?


  1. I don't hover (unless asked to look or follow). I am a hugger, though. I like hugs and I am happy to give a hug when it seems appropriate or needed. But, like you, I do want "my space" when I'm in a crowd with strangers. Europeans, especially, don't seem to mind being in your face, or in your space. I like at least 3 feet. That's why we don't go to concerts or the movies during the first few days of a release, or to fairs, even. Too many people.

  2. I hug too. But I do get uncomfortable with hugs that linger past a certain amount of time. I am the same way about movies and concerts too. I prefer empty seats in front, behind and on at least one side. LOL

  3. Totally get it! Especially in your situation!! When I'm tired..really tired..leave me alone. When I'm sick, just leave me alone. If you want to fix me a cup of tea or chicken soup, that's ok though. Now if someone is trying to get "their" point across and get a little too close...look out. I will show my Jersey Girl side. True story: I had an employee who just refused to go with the changes I was implementing. I had to put him on corrective action finally. Then it went to the 2nd one and finally the 3rd and final warning. I called him into a conference room to discuss it and he knew it was coming. I was seated already and he came in and got in my face pointing his finger at me. Oh, I can't tell you the restraint I had to find to keep from slapping that finger out of the way and to not blow my gasket on him. The moral of the story is "don't get in my face if you're pissed off and don't piss me off". Hahaha. As for hugs...I love them. Great post.

    1. I've never even been to Jersey but I think I have a bit of Jersey Girl in me as well. LOL Oh yeah, if someone gets in my face- it is OVER. :)

  4. I had to laugh about the hugs from kids: I feel exactly the same way! The bad thing is that the kids who have lice, snotty noses, etc., are the kids who need it the most!

  5. You're so right! I just silently cringe. LOL


Welcome, friends! Please spew forth some wisdom for me. I'm quite certain I need it!