Thursday, September 4, 2014

Money and Sex

Does not a marriage make. There simply must be more.

I overheard (no, I wasn't eavesdropping, they were talking loudly...ok, they were talking loudly but the conversation caught my attention so I ended up eavesdropping) a conversation at a local establishment a while back that made me want to join in and give my two cents worth.

Two people (SAHMs, apparently) were talking about marriage and how, as long as a man was paying the bills and the couple was having sex, that was enough to make the marriage last. That was all she needed.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaking from a woman's point of view because, I'm a woman, this type of relationship is just not going to last. Unless you're a very good actress or just don't care what kind of relationship you have.

I believe, in all honestly, that money and sex is not all that a woman needs in a relationship--in this case, a marriage. Women like time and attention. Not attention like, "Look at me! Look at me!" But the kind where two people are wanting and willing to spend time together talking or watching a movie or going out to eat or reading aloud to one another, taking walks, etc.

It's called intimacy and, if it's missing, things are not going to last forever. And someone just might end up looking for that missing companionship/closeness/comfort- elsewhere.

I wrote about not being a helpless woman in an earlier post and, while I am quite proud of this characteristic of mine, if you're not careful it can be translated into you not needing a significant other for anything other than paying the bills and sex. That significant other might just decide to look elsewhere for someone who is needy or turn to his/her own biological family who is needy and spend all of his/her time with them (which is what happened in my case.)

What gets lost in translation is that people need the companionship, the closeness, the intimacy of another individual. We may be independent and able to do many things alone but intimacy is not one of those things.

Just because a woman is not helpless does not mean she doesn't appreciate emotional support and a little romance. Some women might appreciate sex just for the physical attention but, I believe, most of us prefer intimacy that will be sorely lacking if the significant other is not physically present and/or not willing to put in the time or effort.

Ok, it's your turn. Do you think people need intimacy?

14 comments:

  1. Well said Pam, and I couldn't agree with you more about the intimacy and closeness - and Romance! Notice I haven't mentioned that little three letter word! If a woman has that closeness, then she is a lucky woman indeed.

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    1. Thank you, Diane. She is. And I wish I was. LOL

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  2. Well said. I think alot of husbands forget all about the romancing part..and the intimacy..it is easy to fall into that trap, by the way. Just my opinion. Great post. Blessings

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    1. Thank you, Linda. It would be nice to have that with someone. Maybe I'll have it before I die. Ha!

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  3. Well thought out post, but I think there is more to life than that. Have a great day.

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  4. Life yes, but this was just considering certain aspects of an intimate relationship. :)

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    1. I didn't think I was the only one with this opinion. Just making sure. LOL

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  6. YES! I agree so much. SEX is just sex. it is meaningless without the intimacy that follows.The little touches here and there. the snuggling at night. The casual conversations. Seeing something and thinking I must tell him about that!

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  7. You are speaking my language! This is the type of relationship that makes men and women alike fear the opposite sex. Women who want the man only to provide a couple things for them, and men who only want one or two things from a woman...they are missing that aspect of actually knowing who you're living or sleeping with. Intimacy is intimately important and I don't know if these women had given up on that or never wanted it to begin with, but they sound like very sad people who are unwilling to admit that. If they would just admit it, they might find the "grit" to work on changing it. I will read your post about not being helpless! I am in this stage of my life of opening up to being open to my need for companionship, while living my own life.

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    1. In my case, not being helpless has been interpreted as not needing him for anything other than paying the bills. Now, I don't want him for anything. LOL I like doing things for myself. I like that I can do things for myself. Glad you stopped by and read and commented! Thanks!

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Welcome, friends! Please spew forth some wisdom for me. I'm quite certain I need it!