Thursday, August 28, 2014

Unsolicited Advice Givers

Unsolicited advice seems to come from every direction and to be aimed right at me. This does not make me a happy camper.

I don't think it's because people are unaware that I possess a fully functional brain. I think it's because they value their opinions over others or because they love to hear the sound of their own voices or because they want to live in a world where everyone does everything the way the advice giver wants it done. Who doesn't. Ha!

It's like this, I have a brain and I am not afraid to use it. As a matter of fact, I use it every minute of every day. It's the most active part of my body. My brain works and it works quite well. I use it for making decisions, formulating my own opinions, applying logic, solving problems, philosophizing, processing new information...

Here's the thing---

When I share what I am going to do with you, that is NOT an invitation to share your opinion on the matter unless I point blank ask for your opinion. You will know I want to hear your thoughts if words like, "What do you think?" come out of my mouth.

Here's another thing---

When you come into a room and see me engaged in an activity, this is also not an invitation for you to share your thoughts on how I should be doing it as opposed to the way I am doing it. I am not interested in hearing, "I'm just trying to tell you how to do it." If I am interested in finding a new way of doing something (different from my tried and true way or the way I've researched it for myself) or need help doing it, you will hear something like, "Have you ever tried doing this?" or "Can you think of a better way to do this?" or "Could you help me with this?"

And then there's this--

Opposing viewpoints are fun and educational, at times, when both parties have an opportunity to speak, be heard and respond. It's called conversation. Sometimes it's called debating. It's called stupid when you yell at the other person and call them names for having an opinion that differs from yours in an effort to force them to believe as you do.

And one more---

Telling me what you think another person should do is a total waste of your time and mine. I am not going to go to the person and share your unsolicited advice for them with them. At least, not seriously. This will only be done for a laugh. And that laugh will be at your expense.

It annoys me to no end being on the receiving end of all this unsolicited advice from people who know just enough about everything to know absolutely nothing about anything. Walking around all puffed up with bits of here and there knowledge (some of it self appointed as knowledge) does not make anyone an expert on anything. Nor does it give that person the right to inflict that 'knowledge' on others. Shouting and spewing that garbage does nothing but further decline their credibility. Not that their credibility existed in the first place. Now, they are in the negative. And the same thing goes for those who possess wisdom and think the world will end if they don't impart said wisdom to others.

At my house, I am seriously considering implementing a 'No Talking' policy. I would try a 'No Stupid' policy but that would fail miserably in the first seconds.

Anyone else out there not a fan of unsolicited advice?


  1. It can be maddening, that's for sure. Let us know if the new policy works for you. ;)

  2. Oh how I hate people who give unsolicited advice and then get pissed off with me because I didn't take their advice, if I wanted your advice I would ask for it

  3. Well, I have to admit, as a parent, over the years, I am sure I have given plenty of unsolicited advice. In fact, where my children and now grandchildren are concerned, I still do. But, I would never use words like stupid. I like to think that my “advice” is given more like a tour guide, pointing out that a different direction might be the better choice.

    1. LOL I know what you mean. I've given that 'guidance' to the lovelies. But that was when they were little. I try not to do that now that they're all grown up and I think that's because my mother is so bad about doing it. And she does it all the time to everyone in the world to whom she speaks. Sheesh.

  4. Oh yes! That sounds like a marvelous policy...wonder if it would work in my house too. ;)

    1. I don't even know if it would work here. But I do think it's worth a shot. LOL


Welcome, friends! Please spew forth some wisdom for me. I'm quite certain I need it!