Saturday, August 9, 2014

Forkers

What's a forker? It's someone without manners.  I wouldn't exactly call this a southern thing, just a manners thing. A forker is someone who uses their fork for eating AND for serving. I've seen this done with spoons as well. Even with knives.

And it drives me NUTS.

Hello! We have serving spoons and serving forks for SERVING. We have other forks and spoons for eating. They are different. And, to me, they are different for a reason--no one, at least no one I know personally, wants someone's germs on their food.

I live with a forker. The first time my family ate at my oldest daughter's in-laws' home, Mr Forker took the fork right out of his mouth and stuck it into another piece of beef right from the serving tray. In front of everyone. He also scraped some of the olives and gravy straight off the serving dish onto his plate. With that same fork.  

Yes, I was embarrassed. Yes, his mother would have been horrified. No, I am not ashamed to admit I was embarrassed. It just goes against the way I was raised. And it's not nice.

Mr. Forker wonders why I tend to hide certain things from him. Like olives. He can have his jar, but not the jar that others use. Why? Because the fork or spoon comes out of his mouth and/or straight out of his food and into that jar. His jar always has food particles swimming around in it. Same with honey. Peanut butter. Pickles. Peppers. Everything. And the juice that runs down the jar? It's not wiped off and put right back into the fridge or pantry or wherever. 

And the knives? I've seen them go from the butter to the toast to the jelly or honey with a lick in between to clean it off. NOT cool. 

Forkers are also guilty of double dipping. They put a chip of some sort into a bowl of dip of some sort, take a bite and dip again. The only time I can think of that this practice is truly ok is when the forker has put some of that dip onto a plate of his/her own. DoubleTripleQuadruple dip all day long for all I care as long as the dip in on their own plate. Or if they're the only one eating the dip. Which they will be once people notice they are double dipping. (Maybe that's the reason for the double dipping????)

Guess what else forkers do? They drink out of the carton. The milk carton, the jug of water, the container of lemonade, the pitcher of tea-whatever it is, they will drink straight from the container. The container that everyone else takes out, pours their drink of choice into a glass and then returns the container to the fridge.

Life with a forker is life played on the defensive.

Do you know any forkers?

8 comments:

  1. I hate to admit it, but both hubby and I drink out of the same water bottle, but at least it's just the two of us, as the chis, cats and big dogs cannot open the refrigerator door....For the rest, I totally agree with you, I think a 'Manners Boot Camp' is in order here....:)

    P.S. did I tell you that I love this blog of yours? I really do!!

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  2. Hahahahaha I know that part of this is that I don't want to share bottles, glasses, utensils with anyone. However, there is a certain protocol to follow when dining with others. LOL Thank you, Alessandra! I'm so glad you like it!

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  3. LOL..Yep sure do..my mil (sorry, but truthful) has no table manners, she even licks her plate (but, she has a mental illness, so you have to excuse her behavior at times). (did I just gross you out?)--my husband drinks out of the carton..however, he and son are very good about not double dipping as we call it. LOL

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    1. Oh geesh. That's rather uncomfortable, eh? Wait. Maybe that's the problem this man has. I never thought of that. I mean, really, is anyone REALLY THAT unmannered? I know people who lick their plates but it's usually when they're only with close friends and when there was ice cream in the bowl. LOL

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  4. I am happy to say there are no forkers in our family, at least that I am aware of. There have been some notorious double-dippers at Museum events, however, and we all know who they are. It is imperative that you fill your plate of goodies before the double-dipper gets in line because after he arrives at the food table, others need to just walk away. He stands at one plate or bowl and eats his fill before moving on, and he double and triple dips along the way. Then there was the woman who surrounded the bowl of cocktail shrimp and slobbered over it, like it was all hers...well, it was because no one could stand to even think about shrimp once she claimed her spot. So yes, there are lots of forkers out there, but I feel blessed that none live (or have lived) in our house. Hallelujah!

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    1. LUCKY! Oh yes! Double and triple dipping into various dips! UGH. And the slobbering and drooling over the food- Yes! UGH, again. LOL Terri, you are so funny! Thanks for stopping by! And count your blessings that you don't live with a forker. :)

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  5. Oh! I live with one of those. Pesky little habits aren't they! Double dippers are the worst. =( Blessings, Valerie

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    1. I can't stand it! It drives me NUTS! Thanks for stopping by, Valerie! I appreciate it!

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Welcome, friends! Please spew forth some wisdom for me. I'm quite certain I need it!