I have an announcement to make, so listen up and pass it on---
Not every woman on the planet is helpless or fragile.
Seriously. There are so many chores/activities that many of us of the female variety are quite capable of doing all by ourselves. Without help.
And guess what else? IF we do need some help, we know how to ask for it. Amazing, isn't it?
Not all of us need someone to carry our grocery bags for us. Not all of us need someone to move the furniture for us when rearranging a room. Not all of us need you to reach something on a high shelf or mow the lawn or carry debris and tree limbs to the curb for us. Not all of us need someone to do the driving or even make decisions for us.
And some of us can get rather resentful if, after knowing a woman for 30 years, you still try to help where you are not needed.
The problem around here is that someone is always willing to help when help is not needed but not willing to help when help IS needed. That's just annoying. Or mean. Or stupid.
I am one of those women who does not appreciate having someone's nose in her business. I am not helpless. I am not stupid or ignorant. And I do not work well with others when the others are trying to tell me what to do and how to do it without being asked. That, in my opinion is NOT teamwork. That just pisses me off. And, when you see the look of pissedoffedness on my face, you seriously need to stop it. Immediately.
If your idea of teamwork involves the sharing of ideas and actions, then sign me up! Otherwise, you are on your own and I would appreciate you leaving me on my own.
If it's a helpless, fragile woman you want who will hang on your every word no matter how idiotic it sounds and do everything your way just because that's the way you want it done and be void of her own opinions (even better not have a thought in her pretty little head) then Mister you're in the wrong house.
Everyone needs help sometimes. I know that. But most of us- men and women- can function pretty darn well on our own two feet. I also realize that, sometimes, people are just trying to be nice. But, when I say, "No thank you. I've got it." Back. Off. Do not try to force your help on me or you may see the crazy lady come out. In full force.
Do you know anyone who tries to force their help when no help is needed?
We are both very independent women my friend! When a certain someone moved out in January, he was certain that I was going to fall on my face. He told everyone I was lazy. He thought for sure I was going to miss him! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI cleaned up the place, rearranged my furniture and bought a new sofa bed. I changed some of the decor too. He took the TV and DVD players..I got new ones. When he came to visit to get the rest of his stuff out of storage...he was shocked to see the changes but even more shocked when I told him I did it all by myself. When I asked him for help he would make me wait and wait so I quit asking and doing. Why bother?
My point to this little story? You will be so much happier if you were by yourself!!! It rocks!
I know I would be! I just can't get there yet. But I"m ever hopeful!
DeleteI remember clearly one time, when Joe and I were still dating, and he said to me, with some concern "You don't need me for anything." I can also do things for myself. I grew up in a do-it-yourself home and learned how to use tools and change a tire, and put oil in my car, and cook and clean, and just about anything you can mention. I told him that is how I was raised, and that I DID need him to be my best friend and lover. I need him to hear me when I talk, and to be my life companion. He still gets his ego hurt now and then, because I really can do a lot of things better than he can. I have the experience he never got; but he can do lots of things I can't do. We make a good team, but it took him awhile to feel comfortable with me.
ReplyDeletePS... we will have been married 30 years this coming May!!
DeleteExactly! And that will be the topic of the post coming later in the week. :)
DeleteIn answer to your question yes I do her name is Sue and she is my sister and it is one very annoying trait
ReplyDeleteYes it is! I have a husband and a mother who do it to me. I hate it.
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