10 Hashtags about Me

Looking back over past posts (I seriously had no idea that the Grits started in 2014) I found a fun post I wrote about hashtags. It wasn't an original idea and I tried to find the blogger who hosted this but, apparently, she's not blogging anymore. Anyway, we were asked to make a list of 10 hashtags that describe us. I thought I'd do a comparison for day 11 of NaBloPoMo. While I'd keep some of my 2014 hashtags today, I'm changing them all up just for fun. 



Here's 2014's list:

10 Hashtags That Describe Me

1. #momtobestdaughtersever

2. #ilovemydog

3. #iamtoooldforthatsh*t

4. #iseestupidpeople

5. #WTF

6. #itisfootballseasondonotdisturbuntilfebruary

7. #theloveboatsailedwithoutme

8. #doublecuppaontheweekends

9. #textingfool

10. #don'taskifyoudon'twanttoknow

Actually, that's not too bad. I'm still not that great at hashtags but here's 2016's list:

10 Hashtags that Describe Me

1. #firsttimegrandma
2. #passthegeritol
3. #carolinapanthersarekillingme
4. #wheresthedamngeritol
5. #walmarthasgeritol
6. #laughingalltheway
7. #tellinitstraightup
8. #lovemyfriends
9. #suckingdowngeritol
10. #rockingmiddleagelikearock

Hashtags can be fun. And funny. And clever. Or, like mine, only fun. :)

Have a great weekend!

Fall Television MEHs

Here we go, y'all. It's day 4 of NaBloPoMo. ONLY day 4...

Among other things (like my sugar detox which means my morning coffee is not CRAP) I listed the few shows I've watched this fall season that I love over on EMPTY NEST. Here, I'm going to list the less than few that I've watched that did not strike a cord with me. Why? Because it's day 4 of NaBloPoMo and today's prompt is:

Which fall shows should be canceled already?

I hope sipping coffee without sugar isn't clouding my judgment this morning...Anyway--

1. THE REAL O'NEALS: I accidentally caught this ONE TIME and was not impressed. I find them unbelievable and am not a fan of the mom. Kind of like THE GOLDBERGS. Not a fan.It doesn't help that I am not a fan of the actors either. 
2. MACGYVER: I caught this on on purpose and did not make it through the entire episode. I remember the original series and this time, they are missing the mark.
3. SPEECHLESS: I really tried to give this one a shot but, after watching all of 2 episodes and part of a third, it's just not holding my attention. 
4. THE GOOD PLACE: I know. I really hate it but this one just hasn't grabbed my attention. I tried because I adore Kristen Bell and Ted Danson. Sad.
5. KEVIN CAN WAIT: Again, I just can't stick with it. And I really wanted to. All I can give it is background noise when I want something on just for the noise and not because I want to watch it. 

And that is it. I listed 5 new shows on EMPTY NEST that I have enjoyed although I'm still on the fence with a couple of them. 

There are a few shows that are not new this season but came back and keep coming back (TWO BROKE GIRLS- seriously, the blonde is stupid and the brunette delivers one-liners as if they are conversation; MOM- just, no; THE GOLDBERGS- idiotic mom character and that kid's voice gets on my LAST nerve...) and I'll never understand why these stay on the air and good ones get canceled. Is the viewing public really that stupid? Or is it ME? YIKES!

Thankfully, NETFLIX does pick up some shows I love and between NETFLIX and HULU I do get to watch reruns of my favorite canceled shows. 

Ok, what shows would you cancel from this viewing season?

Uber Doober Do

The kids have using Uber for years and have liked it just fine. I'd never tried it until our trip to Nashville. Now, I'm a fan!

When in Nashville, TN- UBER is the way to get around. I'm one of those people who get quite nervous when driving in unfamiliar areas. When you couple that fear with a big city with more people than you thought could ever be in one place at one time, Uber is your friend. Your BESTIE.

Before Nashville, I was an Uber virgin. Now? I want to Uber everywhere. I mean it! It was a great experience. I've used taxi services before but I've found the drivers to be hell on wheels and not the most personable. Not to mention EXPENSIVE. Uber is different-

• The vehicles are much nicer than cabs. 
• The drivers are personable but not pushy. 
• If you want to talk, they will. If you don't, they won't bother you. 
• The cost is less than getting a taxi.

I do not care for driving around downtown Charleston either. Mount Pleasant (or Mount Plastic as it is beginning to be called because of all the fake, uber (no pun intended, but nice when it works out) rich folks moving in around here) and now that won't matter. When we have people visiting, I shall get an Uber to take us and deliver us home all without the stress of the traffic, the walking tourists who, apparently, have no idea how to cross a street, and finding a parking spot which takes longer than the time it takes to give your touristy friends a walking tour of the Battery, Rainbow Row, the Market, and grab lunch at Fleet Landing. 

Uber is also great for those folks who like to drink and are smart enough to NOT drive after imbibing. (Seriously, those of you who are not smart enough to NOT drive after drinking, get a brain.) Why in the world would anyone endanger the lives of others instead of taking an affordable alternate mode of transportation? It's beyond me. But, that's not really the point of this post. It's more of a soapbox. Ha!

Yes, we have bus service here. But, especially in this heat, I much prefer being dropped off in my driveway instead of half a mile or more from the neighborhood. Plus, the buses run on their schedule, not mine. And, they don't run at night. 

A couple of family members have told me there is a new service (newish here, anyway) called Lyft. I haven't tried them out and I really don't know whether I will or not. I mean, Uber is fine and, until it isn't, I'll just Uber when I don't care to drive in traffic or stress over parking. And, frankly, I love saying, 'Uber.' 

• I'm going to Uber down there. 
• I'm going to get an Uber. 
• Let's Uber-it! 
• Get an Uber!

What are your experiences with paid rides?

Cloud Watching

My attempts at meditation have been, for the most part, unsuccessful. Admittedly, part of the problem is my lack of sticktoitiveness. I much prefer immediate results in everything I do. Which is why I don't do anything. Ha!

However, I have decided to continue down the mediation path and, in that effort, I have been following a (sort of) daily meditation guide. The book simply gives me something on which to reflect or a simple exercise to clear my mind...that kind of thing.

I react to some of the suggestions/reflections with a WTH is she talking about. Other times, I'm intrigued. Always, I try it out. Sometimes, it ends up being quite worth my time. Like the day she reflected on her childhood lying on her back watching the clouds pass by and, yes, that Joni Mitchell song popped into my head...though that's the one song of hers I never liked.) She asked: What can the clouds teach us?

So, I headed outside to search the clouds for an answer. Amazing. Here's what I discovered (after a couple of hours because I really got caught up in watching the darn things. I hadn't done it YEARS and it was fantastic! I saw a surfer surfing a huge wave; a Saint Bernard grow from puppy to adulthood; my dog; lots of faces- people and animals; a man's face change from a man to a mountain lion to a tiger; myself...)

What can clouds teach us?

• Not everything is as it seems so, try not to make assumptions.
• Take life slow and easy and reflect on the positives. We miss too much speeding through each day.
• Be gentle with others.
• Recognize approaching storms. Take shelter but appreciate what they have to offer.
• Be aware of, and willing to, change.
• Move forward softly, slowly and in awareness.
• Change is not to be feared.
• Change can be fun, funny, interesting, adventurous, scary, creative, motivational, thought provoking, encouraging, calming, comforting, freeing...
• Change is something we can do.
• Stalling is ok, as long as we move with the next breeze.
• It's ok to change directions when we don't like the path we're on.

Do you meditate? When was the last time you took time to watch the clouds? 

Sales People Suck

Ok, not ALL salespeople suck. But some of them certainly do. Some of them are so motivated by profit that they could care less about the customer. And, often, they insult those interested in buying a product that the desire for said product goes away speedy quick.

Like some used car salespeople. I've been in need of a car for over one year now and I've put it off for several reasons. One of the top reasons is the salespeople at the car lots. I'd rather look on Craigslist. But I'm not a fan of being murdered.

Then there are the people on a website where I entered some info in searching for a cleaning service. They baraged me day after day to choose their companies that I finally reached the point where I refused to repsond at all. I hadn't even recieved all the estimates before that crap started.

I was trying to decide about using a certain product- I had been mulling it over for months- and made the mistake of asking questions to someone who sells the product. When I decided to try a lesser version of the same product, said salesperson goes into all sorts of pushy and insulting tactics to get me to buy the more expensive package in an effort to pocket more money. It didn't work. I ended up going a completely different route.

I have, seriously, walked right out of a store. And, not without comment.

I much prefer shopping online just to avoid salespeople. Even the ones in the department stores. Some of those women (and I say women because I've only dealt with the female of the species in this situation) follow you around like you're about to steal them blind or to constantly shove their opinion on what you need down your throat. Others will ignore you even at the checkout.

Of course, there are exceptions. Like Lowe's. Where you couldn't find a salesperson to help you if you danced naked on top of the paint counter (which is located center front of our Lowe's).

Now, I understand that people in sales need to make a living. I totally understand that. What I resent are the rude, pushy, insult filled tactics that some of these people use. It is an instant turn off and I have never made a purchase from someone who makes use of these tactics.

The people I will buy a product from are nice people who, after offering their help, leave you to your own devices but are readily avaialbe should you have questions or need help. They may ask questions but only in an effort to discover what your particular preferences are as opposed to pushing a product they will make a high commission from or one they simply need to get rid of.

And so, the search for a car continues. I want a used one. And I'll be buying from the sales dude or dudette who respects me as a fellow human being.

Perhaps I should send out a survey of salespeople first. Ha!

Do salespeople bother you?

Keeping Time

When I was trying to run again after all these years, I used a pacer to keep time and distance. It helped but, what with all the recurring injuries, I had to give up on the running. I haven’t really considered using one for walking mostly because, when I use the pacer, I tend to set it faster and faster and then, I’d be running again and injured, so…

I have, however, given thought to the use of a pacer to get through the daily routine. I think this would be a fantastic app to have on hand. Instead of slowly drudging through my daily chores, I would set the pacer and get through them with diligence and within a reasonable time. No more letting those books that call to me interrupt my mission. No more Hulu or Netflix crying out for me to catch up on those series that I cannot stay up late enough to watch during the school year. Nope. Those things would have to wait until after the necessaries were complete. Ok, except for ‘THE BLACKLIST’. NOTHING stands in the way of me catching up on that one.

I would pace myself through the dishes and the laundry. Through the cleaning of the bathrooms and the vacuuming. Even through cooking and all that outdoor work that I am so easily distracted from doing. The pacer app would set my pace and I would work my way through the grueling tasks in record time and then be able to do activities on my want-to list.

Or maybe I'll just hire that maid. 

Do y’all think a pacer would help you get through your daily routines? 

Toilet Paper

Don't laugh. It's way more important than you may have thought. Or, mayybe you've never given it a thought.

I never really did until I started teaching at school. When we were at the old school, we had to use kid size toilets and, well, we just got used to it. We didn't love it, but we adjusted.

At the new school, which is about 5 years old now, the adults have adult sized toilets. But, the toilet paper is absurd.

Have you ever seen this skit?

Well, that's exactly what it's like trying to get the toilet paper out of the dispenser at school. Only worse. Because they supply us with the cheapest, thinnest paper ever made. It's like rice paper, only thinner. WAY thinner. So, every time you do get a hold of a piece and pull, you're lucky if you retrieve one WHOLE square.

Now, imagine having to deal with this situation when you have about three seconds to go to the bathroom before your next class.

Ellen, my sweet, you nailed it.

How's the TP where you work?

Yelling Zone

Do you work with someone who yells? Do you live with someone who yells? Have a friend who yells? A relative?

I do. Granted, some of them aren't actually 'yelling', as in fussing at someone, rather, they talk loud. Really loud. Really, really loud. They talk so loud your ears ache just trying to listen without passing out or telling them to tone it down. Or smacking them. 

But I am around people who do yell, as in fussing at someone, as well. And I have decided that, regardless of the reason behind the yelling, these people should have to be silent unless they are in a yelling zone. 

Yep. I am suggesting that every place of business, every home, every wherever/whatever, have a yelling zone for loud talkers and fussers. This way, they can say what they need/want to say without making others suffer. 

Imagine this: you know people who look like wild banchees when they yell. They go off and the ridiculous rant makes them look like wild monkeys at a frat party. How freaking hilarious would it be to watch them carrying on while in a yelling zone?! You wouldn't have to hear them, but you could see them. 

I vote, YES!

I also vote that these loudmouths get videoed while ranting in the yelling zones and posted on YouTube. 

It's either a yelling zone or they have got to quieten down. 

And that, friends, concludes the A-Z Challenge! And, yes, I am a day late. But y'all wouldn't know it was me if I was on time. Ha!

Lawd have mercy!

WTH Happened to U?

The letter 'U' has been upstaged. Though it cannot be ignored by the letters, 'T' and 'V' as it is forever sandwiched between the two, it was certainly snubbed. Given the cold shoulder.

How in the world one can pass by such a useful letter, I have no idea.

Without our friend, 'U', we would:

• live in the Nited States of America
• never be able to undo anything
• never know unrequited love (we would miss out on some great poetry but we would lose some pretty good murder mystery movies/books)
• not be able to go/move/look up, only down. Not cool.
• have ants instead of aunts and no uncles
• only know conditional love

Hmmm...

People would live in Tah instead of Utah. There would be no more mysterious underground anything. We wouldn't laugh like idiots every time someone said, "Ranus" as opposed to, 'Uranus.' 

And, NO UNICORNS! What?! Then people wouldn't be able those ridiculous cookies shaped like unicorns that poop colorful stars. 

No. Forgetting the letter 'U' was not nice but, it happened.

I just hope it wasn't an unforgivable act.

This is Day 21 of the A-Z Challenge!

Repartee

I'm a day late with this one but, here it is anyway:

Are you good at witty replies? I am quite good at them. About three days later. You know, after my brain has time to process and weed through all the possibilities before I finally have just the right one. Of course, the moment has passed. I always tell myself that, next time, I'll be ready. But I rarely am.

I've certainly had my moments, few though they are. I'm so proud of myself when a clever quip is accessible in a flash. I feel so dang smart. Intelligent. Mensa qualified.

There are times when my daughters and I have healthy, hilarious banters. Though quite often I find myself laughing hysterically at their repartee filled conversations, as a bystander. A wannabe. It's the same with my closest friend. He is almost always one up on me.

Where is the witty part of my brain when I need it?

Again, when I have access to my witty abilities, I am queen of the world.The most intelligent woman ever born. Pitty it's such a short-lived rarity.

I'm quite envious of those who have instant access to this ability. I am in awe of how clever they are. I'm not talking about being mean. Just clever. Anyone can be mean. It takes smarts to be clever. The latter is the sort I enjoy and appreciate. And found lacking.

I never give up, however. Because, even though I often come up short, I do so relish the times when I'm on my game.

How are y'all at repartee?

This is Day 18 of the A-Z Challenge!

Notes

I am a note taker.

I take notes at meetings. I take notes while reading books. I take notes when thinking. I take notes all the time. And these notes are all over my house.

I find them in obscure places as well as all over in wide open places. They're in books, pockets, drawers, under the bed, in the closet, in baskets...everywhere. There's even an app for that. The one I use is called: Note Everything. It's like the app is luring me to take more notes as well as affirming the fact that I should be taking notes.

Yes, some of this need to jot down everything is due to the aging brain. But, at the same time, it's not like this is something new for me that I decided to start when my brain stopped remembering as well as it did before it decided to be a stereotypical brain and forget things because I got older. Sheesh.

I'm always taking notes about blog post ideas and random thoughts that could be turned in to a blog post or two but not a single one of those thoughts or ideas helped me when trying to write this post for the challenge that had to begin with the letter, N.

Thus, the blog post entitled: Notes.

This is Day 14 of the A-Z Challenge!

Math

It was, without a doubt, the worst subject in school for me. I hated it. It was hard and it required me to sit still and think. I was not a sit still kind of kid. I enjoyed/appreciated and was good at English (I was the Queen of diagramming sentences) and history (I still love it and my love of history was part of the reason I ended up living in an historic city).

But math? It gave me a headache then. It gives me a headache now. The difference? Now, I almost get the logic behind it. And that's quite scary. And confusing. Thus, the headache.

Whenever a student in my school says that he/she hates math, I tell them to think of math as a mystery to solve. They are the detective and the problem is the mystery. It's amazing that a statement so simple makes such a difference in the effort they will put forth.

I don't teach math, and that's a VERY good thing. I teach computers. To elementary students. I teach them how to use computers and computer programs and I also teach coding.

We will be branching out into robotics this summer.

I have no idea what made me thing THAT would be a good idea.

Anyway, one of my addictions is, Ted Talks. Check this one out. Yes, you'll probably have to read subtitles. I did. But, trust me, it's way easier than working out a math problem.

Enjoy!

This is Day 13 of the A-Z Challenge!

Don't JINX it!

I am one of those superstitious type folks who believes that if you say something or do something (especially something veering from the norm) that you will jinx the outcome of an event or your entire day.

I always- ALWAYS- put my right shoe on first. And take it off first. Always. I've tried to switch it around but I cannot make myself do that. The thought that passes through my mind when I do try to put the left shoe on first is something like, "No. Something will go very, very wrong today if I do that."

I know it's ridiculous, but I still put that right shoe on first.

During football season, I'm the same way. If a sports announcer makes just the right negative comment about a team, that team is jinxed and they will lose. And they do.

During the summer months (which span way more than three months) I NEVER ask, "Can it get any hotter?" because, if I do, I might jinx it and the answer might be in the affirmative and that would be worse than the unbearable levels the heat already reaches.

Basically, if it's going to be jinxed, I am not the one who's going to do it, if I can help it.

This is me, during football season:

The rest of the year, I'm focusing on the shoes and not asking if it can get any hotter.

This is Day 10 of the A-Z Challenge!

Imagination

Does your imagination ever get out of control? Mine has always done this. I can remember so many times, as a child, I was nearly terrified by things that were not happening or did not exist. My imagination was over active and quite vivid.

This remained a problem even into my college years. Alhough, seeing HALLOWEEN my freshman year and living in an old dorm with wide hallways dimly lit with antiquated light fixtures hanging on the walls, was not helpful.

I could talk myself into just about anything. And I often did.

Why in the world I was so drawn, and still am, to books written by Stephen King is a mystery to me. I was reading one of his books while my first born daughter was napping and someone knocked on the front door. I jumped up, threw the book across the room and screamed like someone was attacking me. Good grief. How ridiculous.

This was about the time that I decided I had better get my imagination under control. So I did. I conditioned myself to block that out-of-control thinking as soon as I had a mere glimmer that it was going to start up. And it's been working fine. Until it invades my dreams, of course.

However, when I am walking the dog before the sun comes up and it's a cool, windy day (and no, it doesn't have to be near Halloween for this to happen) and the leaves are blowing around---they sound like footsteps no matter what I tell myself. Sometimes, I guess, the situation is just right and there's not a darn thing you can do about it.

I will tell myself that it's just the leaves and that I don't need to turn around and look. And then I'll have the conversation about what if I do turn around and look and something or someone IS there? Then what will I do? I'm too old and overweight to outrun whatever it is. So do I want to be surprised by the attack or watch it come?????

I always turn around. There hasn't been anything or anyone there.

Yet.

Does your imagination get the best of you?

This is Day 9 of the A-Z Challenge!

Haunted House Humor

One of my favorite things our family did when I was growing up was go camping on the weekends. Most of the time we would go to the mountains and just have a nice relaxing time. One of the most memorable weekends involved a haunted house and my oldest brother.  

When we got to the campground it was practically deserted --as it was the off season—with only 3 campers in the whole place. Not a problem since there were plenty of us to have fun and go exploring. Once we were set up, it was time to go exploring. 

Once we hit just the right spot in the dirt road, we saw an old house looming ahead on the left. There has never been a better haunted looking house in a Hollywood movie. This place was two stories high with a widow’s walk on top. The siding was old and gray looking with some slats hanging down at an angle from the rusty old nails that could no longer hold them in place. There were steps leading up to a porch that spanned the front of the house. Several of the boards curved up at the edge of the steps and the porch and there were holes where the wood had given up and rotted away. There was a porch swing hanging at one end of the porch and it creaked, just a little, in the breeze. Most of the windows had been broken, leaving half panes of jagged glass and, those that were intact, were covered in a film of dust and age. Through the windows, we could see old, tattered curtains hanging limp. The walkway leading up to the wide steps was no longer level and was cracked in places with weeds growing up through them. The front yard was overgrown with weeds and dead bushes and was surrounded by an old, gray picket fence that swayed in places and had more leaning slats than straight up and down ones. To enter the walkway leading to the house, we had to pick the gate up, that was hanging by only one rusted hinge, and place it to one side. Several old trees that had already shed most of their leaves were on either side of the house reaching out with their spindly arms. It was coming on dusk; there was a slight breeze; and not a sound was heard other than the ever so slight creaking of the porch swing and the occasional rustling of dead leaves.

There were seven of us kids altogether and we decided that perhaps going up to the door and going inside that house was not the best idea we’d ever had. We discussed this in quiet whispers all the while keeping our eyes sharply focused on the house. Finally, my brave brother, Tony, said- in his best 11-year-old manly voice, “I’m not scared. I’ll go in.” The rest of us stood statue still in a bit of shock at hearing his words and Tony had an expression on his face that clearly indicated he, too, was wondering who the hell said that. 

Mere seconds passed as my courageous brother realized that it was indeed his voice and that now, because of his impulsive bravery, he was going to have to go into the haunted house. His steps were shaky and slow as he proceeded up the worn path to the first step. He slowly and carefully placed one foot up on the step and looked back. We were all still standing there with wide eyes and opened mouths. Tony walked up each step with uncertainty and paused to look back again when he stood, nervously, on the porch. We had not moved a muscle. Tony took small, careful, baby steps all the way to the front door and stopped. He gingerly reached out his hand to open the old door. At that very moment that insignificant breeze that had caused only slight movement of the porch swing and a gentle (albeit creepy) rustling of the leaves became a wind. And that wind was strong enough to blow the tattered curtain hanging at the broken windows. that ran vertically beside the front door, out just far enough to brush my brother’s arm.

To this day I do not think that my fearless brother’s feet touched any part of that house or the earth as he spun around and took off! He was beside us and then past us within a millisecond and there was dust behind him as he flew down the dirt road. The expression on his face illustrated terrified quite well with the eyes bugging out and the extreme paleness of his color. As soon as we realized what had happened (and it took a few seconds), we laughed hysterically- half from my brother’s reaction to the curtain and half from sheer relief. 

Of course we had to go off after him because he was running in the opposite direction of our campsites. Along the way we met our parents’ friends who were driving out to visit- complete with Tony on the hood of their car. 

I've told this story quite a lot over the years and I've posted about it on Empty Nest. I never tire of it and the visuals in my head are still vivid. We discussed this particular trip over Christmas and my brother still recalls the haunted house too. 

He's still not laughing as hard as the rest of us though.      

This is Day 8 of the A-Z Challenge!

The Passing of the Baton

There's a blog hop in town. All you do is answers some questions and pass the baton on to two bloggers.

Ok, so thanks to my ex friend, Barb at This and That as I Bounce Through Life the baton has passed to me on this blog hop. 

Thankssomuch, Barb. And no worries. I WILL be thumping you on the head with the baton. ;) 

This thing has been passed by and to REAL writers who possess REAL humor and so I have no idea why she passed it on to me. Though I do feel honored. Albeit undeserved. I'll probably forgive Barb. One day. Ha!

Apparently, I have to answer a question or four and then pass the baton.

1. What am I working on? Survival. Yes, I'm trying to survive teaching elementary students. Good Lord who in the world EVER thought I should take on teaching? On the blogging front, I started a new blog, this one, because I have a gazillion things that I need to air out and get out in an effort to clean house. And maybe change the world. Right.

2. How does my work differ from others in this genre? They don't suck at it and I do. They possess humor, I do not. They possess the vocabulary to make their writing interesting, I do not. I know what I want to say and I think I do just fine until I read what someone else wrote. That's when I realize I don't exactly have what it takes. Does this stop me? Absolutely not. Because, surely, it's in there somewhere. And, if I keep at it, that gift will pop up and shine.

3. Why do I write what I do? Because I have a driving need to get some stuff out. Because I need to make some discoveries. Because I have to.

4. How does my writing process work? It is all about a wild and crazy motication. I never know when it's going to kick in. It could be in the middle of the day or the middle of the night. It could be morning or evening. Any time of day or night. But, when it hits, I have to go at it full steam. Which makes teaching interesting because, yes, it has hit me during the school day. In other words, the process doesn't work for me. I work for the process.  

And now, I'm passing the baton on to two people whose blogs I enjoying reading. It wasn't easy narrowing this down, but I did it. First is to Cathy at Cold Lake Cathy. I don't care what this woman writes about- travel, her family, life in general, books---whatever the topic, the content contains humor that has, at times, caused my coffee to spew from my mouth, through my nose and onto my computer. Second is to my friend Kim at My Field of Dreams. Not only do you get to view photos of her lovely farm, Kim's writing is full of imagery that makes the photos unnecessary. When I read her posts, I can not only see exactly what the scene looks like, but I can smell the smells. I always leave there feeling so calm and refreshed. 

That's it y'all! 

To Touch or Not to Touch

Are you a touch-me-not or a hover-er? In our house, we have both. I, personally, am a touch-me-not. Especially when I am sick.

I know people who like to be catered to. Hovered over. Their every need/desire/whim to be met. That's not going to happen if you live here.

Unless you're a kid. But I'm talking about grown up people here.

I didn't mind one bit taking care of my kids. But when grown ups expect me to take care of them, well, it wouldn't be wise for them to hold their breath while waiting.

I guess it's because I don't like to be hovered over when I'm not feeling well. Actually, I do not like to be hovered over for any reason at any time. I need at least a 5 foot radius most of the time.

I'm ok when my students want to give me a hug- unless the thought of lice pops into my thinking. Or they have a snotty nose or have just had their hands somewhere. I'm ok when my family is handing out hugs as well. That's not what I consider hovering behavior.

Hover-ers are people who follow me around from room to room talking incessantly about nothing or trying to tell me that I should be doing whatever it is I'm doing the way they do it and not the way I do it. You know, the kind who stick their noses right where they do not belong.

The kind who are just asking to have those noses punch.

Sometimes, these hover types have a tendency to lean in towards your face when conversing with you. Holy crap! I can't tell you how difficult it is not to push them back.

Five foot radius, people. Five foot radius.

And, if you're a smoker, wear perfume or smelly lotion--that's a ten footer.

And please, for the love of all things good on this earth, do NOT hover over my shoulder while I am reading or working on the computer. Eegads!

Being a touch-me-not is one reason I don't fly. The other is my issue with closed in spaces. Which is related to this issue.

Oh, and on the previous mention of hugging- let's not hold that hug for an uncomfortable length of time. Five seconds is plenty of time. It might even be close to pushing the time boundary.Of course, I'm not talking intimacy here. That's different. Weird, right? I know.

I'm sure there are folks out there who are not protective of their personal space. Mine is guarded better than Fort Knox.

What about you? Are you a hover-er, a touch-me-not or do you fall somewhere in the middle?

What's Happening on the Bed?

Do you make your bed in the mornings? As soon as you get up? I try to.

And then this happens---Tucker jumps up there. I tell him not to mess up the bed and he listens. Attentively.

As soon as my back is turned---

Two minutes later---

Yeah, having a little pup around makes making the bed up in the mornings a double chore.

It's a good thing he's the love of my life. :)

Have a great week, y'all!

Unsolicited Advice Givers

Unsolicited advice seems to come from every direction and to be aimed right at me. This does not make me a happy camper.

I don't think it's because people are unaware that I possess a fully functional brain. I think it's because they value their opinions over others or because they love to hear the sound of their own voices or because they want to live in a world where everyone does everything the way the advice giver wants it done. Who doesn't. Ha!

It's like this, I have a brain and I am not afraid to use it. As a matter of fact, I use it every minute of every day. It's the most active part of my body. My brain works and it works quite well. I use it for making decisions, formulating my own opinions, applying logic, solving problems, philosophizing, processing new information...

Here's the thing---

When I share what I am going to do with you, that is NOT an invitation to share your opinion on the matter unless I point blank ask for your opinion. You will know I want to hear your thoughts if words like, "What do you think?" come out of my mouth.

Here's another thing---

When you come into a room and see me engaged in an activity, this is also not an invitation for you to share your thoughts on how I should be doing it as opposed to the way I am doing it. I am not interested in hearing, "I'm just trying to tell you how to do it." If I am interested in finding a new way of doing something (different from my tried and true way or the way I've researched it for myself) or need help doing it, you will hear something like, "Have you ever tried doing this?" or "Can you think of a better way to do this?" or "Could you help me with this?"

And then there's this--

Opposing viewpoints are fun and educational, at times, when both parties have an opportunity to speak, be heard and respond. It's called conversation. Sometimes it's called debating. It's called stupid when you yell at the other person and call them names for having an opinion that differs from yours in an effort to force them to believe as you do.

And one more---

Telling me what you think another person should do is a total waste of your time and mine. I am not going to go to the person and share your unsolicited advice for them with them. At least, not seriously. This will only be done for a laugh. And that laugh will be at your expense.

It annoys me to no end being on the receiving end of all this unsolicited advice from people who know just enough about everything to know absolutely nothing about anything. Walking around all puffed up with bits of here and there knowledge (some of it self appointed as knowledge) does not make anyone an expert on anything. Nor does it give that person the right to inflict that 'knowledge' on others. Shouting and spewing that garbage does nothing but further decline their credibility. Not that their credibility existed in the first place. Now, they are in the negative. And the same thing goes for those who possess wisdom and think the world will end if they don't impart said wisdom to others.

At my house, I am seriously considering implementing a 'No Talking' policy. I would try a 'No Stupid' policy but that would fail miserably in the first seconds.

Anyone else out there not a fan of unsolicited advice?

The Definition of Helpless is Not 'Women'

I have an announcement to make, so listen up and pass it on---

Not every woman on the planet is helpless or fragile.

Seriously. There are so many chores/activities that many of us of the female variety are quite capable of doing all by ourselves. Without help.

And guess what else? IF we do need some help, we know how to ask for it. Amazing, isn't it?

Not all of us need someone to carry our grocery bags for us. Not all of us need someone to move the furniture for us when rearranging a room. Not all of us need you to reach something on a high shelf or mow the lawn or carry debris and tree limbs to the curb for us. Not all of us need someone to do the driving or even make decisions for us.

And some of us can get rather resentful if, after knowing a woman for 30 years, you still try to help where you are not needed.

The problem around here is that someone is always willing to help when help is not needed but not willing to help when help IS needed. That's just annoying. Or mean. Or stupid.

I am one of those women who does not appreciate having someone's nose in her business. I am not helpless. I am not stupid or ignorant. And I do not work well with others when the others are trying to tell me what to do and how to do it without being asked. That, in my opinion is NOT teamwork. That just pisses me off. And, when you see the look of pissedoffedness on my face, you seriously need to stop it. Immediately.

If your idea of teamwork involves the sharing of ideas and actions, then sign me up! Otherwise, you are on your own and I would appreciate you leaving me on my own.

If it's a helpless, fragile woman you want who will hang on your every word no matter how idiotic it sounds and do everything your way just because that's the way you want it done and be void of her own opinions (even better not have a thought in her pretty little head) then Mister you're in the wrong house.

Everyone needs help sometimes. I know that. But most of us- men and women- can function pretty darn well on our own two feet.  I also realize that, sometimes, people are just trying to be nice. But, when I say, "No thank you. I've got it." Back. Off. Do not try to force your help on me or you may see the crazy lady come out. In full force.


Do you know anyone who tries to force their help when no help is needed?